I Was My Own Route 

 Julia de Burgos

 Born in Carolina, Puerto Rico, Julia de Burgos (1914-1953) moved to New York, where she worked as a journalist, and then Cuba, where she pursued further studies at the University of Havana. Returning to New York after two years in Cuba, de Burgos, a freedom fighter, served as the art and culture editor for the progressive newspaper Pueblos Hispanos. Predating the Nuyorican poetry movement, de Burgos’ poems deal with themes of women’s liberation and social justice. A precursor to the contemporary Latina/o writers, de Burgos, in her poem “I was my Own Route,” depicts how the women are burdened with the patriarchal ideologies from the past.  Therefore, de Burgos urges the women to detach themselves from the past so as to locate their identity within. I wanted to be like men wanted me to be: an attempt at life; a  game of hide and seek with my being.


But I was made of nows,

and my feet level on the promissory earth

would not accept walking backwards

and went forward, forward,

mocking the ashes to reach the kiss

of new paths.


At each advancing step on my route forward

my back was ripped by the desperate flapping wings

of the old guard.


But the branch was unpinned forever,

and at each new whiplash my look

separated more and more and more from the distant

familiar horizons;

and my face took the expansion that came from within,

the defined expression that hinted at a feeling

of intimate liberation;

a feeling that surged

from the balance between my life

and the truth of the kiss of the new paths.


Already my course now set in the present,

I felt myself a blossom of all the soils of the earth,

of the soils without history,

of the soils without a future,

of the soil always soil without edges

of all the men and all the epochs.


And I was all in me as was life in me .. . .


I wanted to be like men wanted me to be:

an attempt at life;

a game of hide and seek with my being.

But I was made of nows;

when the heralds announced me

at the regal parade of the old guard,

the desire to follow men warped in me,

and the homage was left waiting for me.. . . . . . . . . .


Glossary 

promissory (adj.): containing or conveying a promise 

whiplash (n.): a blow with a whip 

epochs (n.): periods of time in history or a person’s life, especially the ones marked by 

important events of special characteristics

regal (adj.): of, like or fit for a king or queen; royal

warped (adj.): twisted out of normal or natural shape; strange and unpleasant

homage (n): things said or done to show great respect



Summary:

The poem "I Was My Own Route." has been written by Julia de Burgos, a feminist who challenges the male concept of defining a female's existence in the poem. She connects masculine thinking to gender inequity and men's prejudices against women. Freedom and liberation for women are portrayed in this poem. She also rejects the masculine ideology of deciding a woman's life and journey along traditional paths as a result of this. She's looking for a new path to take on her own journey that she can choose. She supports women's rights and freedom. This poem demonstrates that a man and a woman are equally important. As a result, her life should not be influenced by the ideas of others, as the law guarantees females the same fundamental rights as men.

The speaker in the poem shows the differences between what she was supposed to be and who she was. She objects patriarchal thinking and wishes to build her own path rather than to continue the traditional game of hide and seek. She is seeking for new ways to manage her journey instead of following the path set by males. She mocks these paths and chooses a new road of her choice. 

In the second stanza, she faces several male-made social norms as hurdles/obstacles in her freshly forwarded path but she overcomes all limits and old determined feet. 

In the third stanza, the speaker suffers a lot in a sense of liberation to balance her own life to continue along the new and true path of life. She wishes to travel far into the horizons and experience all of the liberations already experienced by the males. As a result, she kisses multiple different pathways to experience various levels of freedom and joy in life.

In the fourth stanza, she finds herself in a predetermined situation where there is no history, future, edges, or anything else besides the world and the limitations of men and females under the shadows of males. Patriarchy has erected various barriers for women, confining them to the four walls of their homes.  Patriarchal society's norms make her suffer. It depicts a world in which women appear to have no hope.

In the fifth stanza, "And I was all in me as was life in me , the speaker seeks to convey the feeling of strength that comes with choosing one's own path. It was a great opportunity for her to meet and connect with her actual selves. 

The persona reveals to her what she was and what the male members of the community wanted her to be in the sixth stanza. Then she goes on to state that she was everything in herself because she tries so hard to be who she wants to be. Returning to the first stanza, the speaker shows her own attempt to be different from what patriarchal society desired. She is determined to overcome the difficult conditions in her life despite being depressed about the dark future ahead.


Understanding The Text

Answer the following questions.

a. Why did the speaker try to be the way men wanted her to be?

Ans:- The speaker tried to be the way men wanted her to be because she wanted to know what the males expected of her and how they would behave in their patriarchal society.

b. What do you understand by her feet ‘would not accept walking backwards’?

Ans.:- By her feet ‘would not accept walking backwards’, I understand that she refused to accept males' inferior concept about females. She desired to race like males with equal resources in order to achieve the ultimate objective of independence and equality.

c. Who are the old guards? Why did they grow desperate?

Ans:- The old guards are traditional men of  the patriarchal society. They grow desperate when they see the speaker improving the lives of the poor and striving for their liberation and equity.

d. How did the speaker have ‘a feeling of intimate liberation’?

Ans:-  The speaker had "a feeling of intimate liberation" by crossing the patriarchal society's barrier and kissing a new path of liberation, rejecting the old paths defined by males.

e. Why did the speaker’s desire to follow men warp in her?

Ans:- The speaker’s desire to follow men warped in her because of the pre-established patriarchal society and its rules. She desired freedom and pleasure, but she was compelled to adapt to men's established concepts and ideas.

 

Reference to the Context

a. What does the speaker mean when she says she was playing a game of hide and seek with her being’?

Ans:- When the speaker says she was playing a game of hide and seek with her being in the third line of the first stanza and again at the end of the poem, she means to demonstrate her rebellious character and rejection of masculine mentality that restricts women within four walls. It also suggests that she requires liberation in order to be free from male dominated society and pursue her own path.

b. Why, in your view, was her back ripped (badly torn) by the old guards as she was advancing forward?

Ans:- In my view, her back was ripped by the old guards as she was advancing forward  and doing progress because the old guards created several obstacles, traditions, norms, and threats of patriarchal ideology. The old guards relate to ancient traditions, cultures, norms, and patriarchal values in this context. But she requires liberation and race in her desire for freedom. As a result of the limits, hindrances, barriers, problems, and blockades established by the society's old guard, her back was ripped and she suffered greatly.

c. What, according to the speaker, did it feel like to be free?

Ans:- According to the speaker, to be free means being able to pursue her dreams and follow her own path without any societal or masculine restrictions. It means walking and feeling like a man, participating in society in every manner as a man, and receiving long-awaited liberation for what they desired. For her, it's the same as choosing her own path and carrying out her own duty, defying the patriarchal ideology imposed on women by the old guard.

d. Why does the speaker prefer the present to the past?

Ans:- The speaker prefers the present to the past as her past was unpleasant, difficult, and troublesome. Patriarchal mentality caused her a lot of pain. She was restricted by patriarchal boundaries.

She was the one who was made to laugh and play with. She was unaware of her heart's freedom and emancipation. She was limited in what she could do based on her wishes. She was subjected to abuse, exploitation, and deprivation by her family. However, she currently feels released and free of patriarchal conceptions. Male ideology is collapsing at an alarming rate. Females have begun to reap the benefits of freedom, and strong male-dominated ideas are on the decline in today's culture. She believes she has complete freedom over her choices and decisions. She is free to work and visit wherever she wants. Hence, the speaker prefers the present to the past.

e. John Donne, in his poem “No Man is an Island”, says, “No man is an island entire of itself.” Would Burgos agree with Donne? Do you agree with Donne or Burgos?

Ans:- John Donne, in his poem “No Man is an Island”, says, “No man is an island entire of itself.” He is referring to the entire human race and their importance in the evolution of society. The expression "no man is an island" represents the belief that humans function poorly when they are isolated from others and must be a part of a society to survive. It signifies that no one is fully self-sufficient and in order to live, everyone must rely on the company and comfort of others. I agree with John Donne and support his concept of societal equality in every aspects. He talks about male and female equality, but Burgos appears angry and upset by the male-dominated culture, and she expresses her displeasure and rejection of male philosophy and ideas that limit women's liberties and chances in society. She appears to be a radical feminist who not only advocates for female freedom but also challenges male norms and beliefs. In any case, I admire Donne because he advocates for the development of society as a whole, including the advancement of both men and women.